Why "Sweetie's Mansion" by Moon Shooter SUCKS!

This FanFic has been bugging me for the longest of times. And today, I've finally been able to voice my frustration to someone who hasn't read this abomination. Her is what I said to that person, who will remain Anonymous of course.

You don't say. . .well then, I need you to listen to me an no one else. I know that seems like an outrageous claim, but just trust me on this.

DO NOT read "Sweetie's Mansion." It's a Sweetie Belle Torture Porn.

I know what I'm talking about here, because I've played Luigi's Mansion for the Gamecube. Luigi had to go through a haunted mansion in fight ghosts, but the key is that I always felt in control, I felt that I was making progress, I enjoyed fighting all the ghosts, and the goal of saving Mario seemed obtainable. Luigi's Mansion was fun.

However, in "Sweetie's Mansion," the ghosts Sweetie Belle is fighting aren't random spirits who present a fun and clever battle, they're her own ghostified friends who insult her, spit on her, and tear her down during the battles, during which Sweetie Belle is mentally and physically tortured! And even when she wins and catches her ghostified friends, it doesn't seem like it's resolving anything. Also, the author adds in unnecessary plot points; like an aged up, old, decrepit, half dead Twilight; and Sweetie Belle getting possessed by an evil spirit and further tormented that way.

"Sweetie's Mansion" has got to be one of the most uncomfortable, mean spirited, miserable, depressing, soul crushing, hopeless fanfictions I have ever read. I thought it was gonna be a fun spooky adventure like the game it was based on, but after a bunch of chapters which could make a game two times as long as Luigi's Mansion; oh that's another thing, this story never ends. Just never. Sweetie's in limbo. She's never gonna get out of the mansion. There's no salvation for her I'm afraid. While Luigi's Mansion had plot twists and turns that made you more interested in the plot, you just want this painful experience to end already. You're begging for a cheat code that could make the author skip to the final boss chapter.

I couldn't take it anymore, I gave up on that story. Maybe if it ever ends I'll read the last chapter for the happy ending. But trust me, that story is just to mean spirited and depressing to be enjoyable. You'd be better off just playing "Luigi's Mansion." At least that's fun and spooky in a fun way that makes you feel you're going on an adventure, not living Hell.

Oh yeah, and I forgot, this story likes to have these stupidly retarded "Game Over" scenarios that show Sweetie Belle dying over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over!

This story is utter torment. If you're going to have an adventure where the protagonist is put through suffering, then at least have it go quickly. This story is longer than a college text book! Imagine Cupcakes going on for 30 chapters! That's what this horrible story is. Don't read this sadistic pile of cruel garbage. Please. Don't. Just don't. It sucks.

Gutterloo by jmj

Gutterloo by jmj

. . . .

. . .gosh. . .

. . .goodness gracious gosh! Gosh dang it to heck and back goodness, gracious me, powers that be! Heaven above, darkness below, WOW! This Fanfic was horrendous! Horrendous! The most horrible piece of. . .of. . .muck that I've ever read! I could rip into this piece of garbage so much that. . .that's exactly what I'm gonna do!

This is“Gutterloo” by jmj! (or Darthpinkamena on FanFiction.net)

This story. . .this stupid story. . .this horrendous story. . .I mean, it's so sad! NO! It's beyond sad! I mean, my gosh, what possessed this person to write something like this? Look, you have no idea what a story like this can do to a person! It reduced me to tears! Tears of sadness and rage! I could rant about this for days, but I want to keep this quick, so let's just hurry up and get on with, okay!

So were start with Scootlaoo, who is, as usual, an orphan. She lives in the street in a cardboard box, and is always filthy. Now, isn't that already kinda stupid. Scootaloo isn't dirty all the the time in the show!

Well, anyway, she comes into the school, and when Miss Cheerilee see how dirty she is, she suspends Scootaloo from school.

What the Hell?! I mean, she asks he why her parents don't clean her, and then gives her a suspension letter to give to her non-existent parents. Shouldn't Cheerilee go see the child's parents personally? Why is she just sending her away with a letter? It doesn't add up.

Oh, and did I mention ,“let the school bullies to their thing without intervening in any way”!?

That's right, the two spawns of Tirek, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, trying out a new name, "Gutterloo."

And wait, you'll never guess what happens next. Ponies spot the starving orphan stealing food, so Applejack and Rarity forbid Applebloom and Sweetie Belle from being friends with Scootaloo. I'm not joking, that actually happens.

It's Friendship is Magic for goodness sake! Shouldn't they be trying to talk with Scootaloo? Why is it like, "Oh! She's a thief! Screw her!" That's not how it works. And, come on, they're the Cutie Mark Crusaders! Why would they willingly split them up like this? The shop keepers who spotted her go ot Cheerilee for parental information, but since Cheerilee doesn't know, they give up!

That's right, they attempt to find out who her parents are, but give up instantly?! What the Hell!? They didn't even try!

So, you might think the fillies would try and stay in touch. Nope! Applebloom and Sweetie Belle actually go along with it and tell Scootaloo that they can't be her friend anymore! Does this author even watch this show?! I mean, the character are not acting right!

And on top of that, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon come across Scootaloo's cardboard box home, and they actually enjoy the fact that Scootaloo is homeless. Look, Diamond Tiara's a jerk, but. . .don't you think the author's going a little too far with this?

So, Scootaloo goes into Sugarcube corner to beg for food, and Pinkie Pie tries to help her, but gets stopped by Stallion Jerk of the Year, Mr. Cake. I mean, my gosh, he's terrible in this story! I mean, he threatens her with the Royal Guard? She hasn't even done anything yet! She just asks to taste some food, and he throws her out! He roars at her! Scootaloo ends up digging through garbage to find a box of moldy cupcakes! She even accidently bites a diaper- UGGGGGGHHHHHH!

Oh yeah, and Diamond Tiara destroys her box home and messes up her Rainbow Dash poster! That's adding insult to injury!

And Scootaloo eats the moldy cupcakes, throws up, has a nightmare- Is there a name for what's wrong with this writer?!

Luckily, because this is an orphan Scootaloo Fanfic, Rainbow Dash flies, rescues her, comforts her, hugs her, takes her in and adopts her. . ..

Or at least. . .it seems like that happens, only for it to end up being a dream Scootaloo has before she DIES!

That's right! Scootaloo dies dirty, filthy, friendless, and alone!

You can't do that, jmj!. . .you can't! What are you a sadist?!

I mean, look, I'll admit it. There are a whole lot of Scootaloo Fanfics, and they all end with Rainbow Dash taking her in, and I understand that you want something different, but come on! You do realize that nearly everypony was out of character right? Sure, Pinkie was good, but you had Adolf Cake get rid of her! 

You know why this story doesn't work? No one asked any questions! Think about it? That's something nopony every did!

Where do you life? Who are your parents? What do they look like? You seem to always be by yourself and no one has seen you house, care to explain that?

Why are you dirty? Buck it! You suspended from school!

Why are you stealing food? Buck it! You're not allowed to have friends anymore!

Are you begging for food? I don't care! Get out before I call the Military!

It's why they never knew anything about Scootaloo! And it's why she dies at the end! The characters would not behave like this! Cheerilee would investigate and keep asking questions until she got some answers! Applebloom and Sweetie Belle would meet secretly with Scootaloo and try to help her! Applejack, Rarity, and the rest of the freakin' Elements of Harmony  would do their own detective work and investigating to find out what's up with Scootaloo! Mostly consisting of asking simple questions! And Mr. Cake, I like that guy. He has kids of his own. He's not a miser. He's a nice guy. Scootaloo isn't a criminal. She stole food, not gems or hundred of dollars. She didn't break into house, she just snitched some produce. You don't call the Army over a missing carrot! 

And another thing, isn't it obvious that Scootaloo's an orphan! She's dirty, she's starving to death, she never talks about her parents; you don't have to be Sherlock Pones to get what's going on!

And again, the stuff that happens is depressing. It is so depressing. We go deep into Scootaloo's psyche as her life is being destroyed! This is heavy psychological stuff! Seriously, Scootaloo's suffering and death in this FiMfic is worse than what she goes through in Rainbow Factory.

I know I can't take that back, but I'm standing by it, Gutterloo is worse than Rainbow Factory!

Cupcakes was less depressing and emotionally scarring than this, in fact, this could really benefit from the dismembering of a certain pony who shall remain nameless *cough*diamondtiara*cough*.

All in all, this FiMfic is horrendous! Terribly awful. Well written, but makes no sense in characterization. A piece of muck! A D+!

The Return of the Evil Scootaloo

Why Do They Always Make Scootaloo Evil!?!?!?

The Return of the Evil Scootaloo

I am Matthais123. A while back I wrote about how a lot of fanfics make Scootaloo evil. Well, I've found a couple more evil!Scootaloo fanfics believe it or not, proving that this really is a reoccurring theme in the FimFiction community  So, without further ado, here is part two of Why Do They Always Make Scootaloo Evil!?!?!? which I have entitled "The Return of the Evil Scootaloo."

Shattered by Slingshot619

Oh my gosh, this picture is so awesome.
Too bad it's chock full of villain tropes

In this fanfic, Scootaloo apparently gets yelled at by Rainbow Dash, and decides to get revenge on her. . . really? . . . is that it? That's kind of fickle, Scoots. . .really. And if that isn't bad enough, Scootaloo gets help from Pinkie Pie, and she is actually reffered to as being in "Pinkamena Diane Pie Mode". Come on, aren't we all tired of these stupid "Cupcakes" references? She even tries to convince Scootaloo to murder Rainbow Dash, advice that she eventually takes. At first, evil Scootaloo isn't that bad. She actually shows-up arrogant Rainbow Dash with some awesome flying moves herself. Unfortunately, what we get in the final chapter is just a stupid "Cupcakes" wanna-be torture scene! All Scootaloo needed was a hacksaw! 

And even before this happens it's just stupid. The author gives Scootaloo nearly every single villain trope in the book! A black leather jacket, a metal choker and bracelets, a move where rings of fire surround her, and the most ridiculous, over the top villain trope of them all, a scar over her right eye, which still perfectly works, and has changed to a blood red crimson color. Was the author just bored one day and started shifting through tvtropes.org? All Scootaloo needs is Voice of Legion, a Starscream, a Villainous Breakdown, and maybe a Big NO! Why not just make her an Alicorn while we're at it? But no, what we get is much more pathetic. After Scootaloo puts Dash in the hospital, stabs her, and gouges out one of her eyes with a hook, she has an instant heel-face turn! What the heck is this? And why does she change? Because Dash basically says "I love you, I'm sorry." Wow, Scoots, talk about a Heel-Face Revolving Door. And plus, who shows up but Cupcakes Pinkie Pie, who threathens to kill Dash instead, but why? And so, how else could this end except with Scootaloo killing Pinkie and having the nerve to apologize to the dying Rainbow Dash! What a terrible fanfic. I give it a C-! And do you know what the author has the nerve to say? That the prologue will explain it all.  NO! You can't do that! That's a lame excuse. You can't have confusing events that don't make sense and then say they'll be info in the prequel. This is just a "Cupcakes" rip off that made me angry. But, I might as well read the prequel when it comes out.

 Lost Time by McSqueakers 

I didn't like this story much. It was dead depressing. But still amazingly written and very deep. So I give it a B+. The Pinkamena appearance kinda ruins it for me. Anyway, in this story, Twilight and Rarity travel forward in time, but there vanishing kind of wrecks the time line. Celestia's dead, there's eternal night, eternal winter, Sweetie Belle's been framed for a crime, and as I said, Pinkie's gone all straight haired and crazy and schizophrenzic  The funny thing is, Scootaloo only turns evil at the end. You see, after helping the time travelers find Sweetie Belle, she's kicked out of the Wonderbolts for being in contact with a criminal. So, she tries to get crazy Pinkie to kill them. When that fails, she starts attacking Twilight, Rarity, Sweetie Belle, and even a new character called Nova. And read this:

Scootaloo started gritting her teeth in frustration as Twilight berated her. Something inside her had snapped. She didn’t care about anything anymore, only seeing her hatred through to the end. “You just don’t get it! I have nothing left!”
Sweetie Belle walked forward to try and comfort the mare. “Please stop this! You have us! You have a home. You have Rainbow Dash-”
Scootaloo felt her hoof flying through the air as a knee-jerk reaction to Sweetie Belle’s words. In an instant, Sweetie Belle was on the ground. Scootaloo looked down at the writhing mare in horror, not for what she did, but that she enjoyed doing it. There was no going back now. A sinister grin spread across her face.

Seriously, this doesn't seem right to me. And what makes it worse is that Scootaloo kills Nova in the process (Scoots dies too. They both fall off a cliff). Actually, this unlocks the power Twilight needs to fix things via roaring rampage of revenge, but still, having Scootaloo just snap is too much. Scootaloo did not loose everything. Sweetie Belle was right, she still has Rainbow Dash, who comes to apologize  to her as she dies from falling off the cliff she pushed Nova off of! As usual Dead evil!Scootaloo is the best evil!Scootaloo. She gives a cookie-cutter apology and justification for her actions (I was wronged and hurt, so I wanted them to know how it feels). I don't buy it.

 For Mother by Zephyrus Scary 
This story is. . .interesting. . . Apparently Scootaloo is a Changeling. Queen Chrysalis apparently needs her for something, and since she's her mother, she chooses her over Applebloom and Sweetie Belle. I'm sorry, but Scoots must know how Changelings are basically love stealing, ruthless, monsters. The timing is a little confusing, but I'm sure that she knows that everypony she cares about will suffer greatly under a Changeling regime. Quite frankly, Scootaloo would be better off a Changeling refugee in the midst of friendly ponies who care for her and love peace. Or is her friendship with Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Rainbow Dash so worthless? Only the first chapter is up, but I can give it a B for now.

Well, that's it for evil!Scootaloo fan-fiction. I hope now you understand how widespread this phenomena is in the Brony community. So, keep an eye out for evil orange pegasi! This is Matthais123 signing off!

Problems With "My Little Dashie" by ROBCakeran53

I am Matthais123, and I am going to point out some problems in one of the most famous My Little Pony fanfiction stories of time, "My Little Dashie" by ROBCakeran53. Now, this is not a real review per say. In fact, I will never review this story because it is so well known and talked about, like Cupcakes or Fallout Equestria. I feel that I wouldn't be able to ever do it justice in a review. But I can point out its fatal flaws. But before I begin, I ought go say that although the story was sad, it didn't really make me cry at all. Mostly because of all of its problems, which I will list right now:

1. Why is the guy so depressed?
Oh my gosh, what is wrong with this guy? He's more depressed in the beginning of the story than he is after Dash has to leave him! What exactly happened to him anyway? The story says the city he lives in has lost its color or life or something. Well then, why doesn't he just move to the country, ya know, upstate New York or something? I mean, at first I thought it was an apocalyptic future where all of nature has been destroyed by man, but then later on we see him and Dashie moving to the country! Why didn't he do that earlier!?

2. What idiot leaves a living My Little Pony in a cardboard box?
Okay, so the guy finds Dashie in a cardboard box with "give to a good home" written on it. The fact that the box had writing on it showed that someone else had found her first and put her there. Okay, WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO DO THAT!!! I don't care if you're an evil, hater, anti-brony, Scrooge; if you see a living fantasy cartoon character in the real world, the first thing that would come to your mind would be "Ka-Ching!" I could think of a whole bunch of ways to get rich of off Dashie. Charge people to see her perform, sell her to a zoo, sell her to a scientist, sell her to the government, sell her to a brony, sell her to Lauren Faust's family, train her to rob people! And besides all that, she do adorable! Who would be insane enough to just put her in a cardboard box and just walk away! This is stupid!!

3. Why does Rainbow Dash not recognize the Mane Five?
There is a scene where Dashie sees an episode of the show, and runs off when she realizes that she's a carton character. If she saw the show, then shouldn't she know who the Mane Five are when they arrive to take her home? Maybe we're supposed to believe Dash only saw a part of the show before she ran off, but don't you think she'd want I watch more to find out about her world? Or maybe were supposed to know that Dashie just wants to leave her old life behind her and focus on life with "Daddy." The author really should have stated thing more plainly regarding this.

4. Why does Pinkie Pie turn into Pinkamena at the drop of a hat?
When Dash doesn't recognize her friends, Pinkie Pie's hair deflates. WHAT? Pinkie Pie got depressed when she believed her ALL friends didn't like her anymore. In this story, Dash just has a case of serious amnesia. This doesn't seem like enough to warrant the change. Also, this change is a serious event, seeing as Pinkie Pie's the Element of Laughter, but in this story, it's just glanced over like it's a regular thing for her or something. Serious, this author has to watch his details.

Well, I described all of the problems I spotted in this story. I must admit though, it is very well written. It depicts the events that happen during the life of a father and daughter very well, and is quite touching and cute. The build up to Dashie's inevitable goodbye is excellent. However, I get trully frustrated with "Daddy's" depressing attitude. Sweet Celestia, even when he talks about having fun with Dashie he sounds depressed! But regardless, the story is touching and quite a masterpiece, so I might as well give it an A-.
This is Matthais123 signing off!

Insomnia by Torph

 Insomnia by Torph 

I am Matthais123. Have you ever wanted to make a FanFic that was really well written and was very descent in length, but in terms of moral, lesson, characterization, originality, and logic was absolutely horrible? Well, don't worry, all you have to do is read this FanFic! Well, let's dive right in!

The story is basically about what happens when Twilight Sparkle reads a murder mystery book at night when she can't sleep (hence the title). Apparently the answer is  that she somehow comes to the conclusion that Pinkie Pie has murdered Scootaloo.

Okay, you know what, just stop for one freaking moment. First of all, why the stupid Cupcakes reference? The author even has Twilight call her "Pinkamena", basically the code name for Cupcakes!Pinkie. Don't you have a mind of your own? I mean, why couldn't Applejack be the alleged murderer? Also, why does she exactly come to this conclusion? You know what the author apparently gives us as an answer to that question? "Crazy Twi! Crazy Twi! Lesson Zero, Crazy Twi!" I'm serious, this is just a "Crazy Twi" Fanfic  Seriously. That's all it is.

Anyway, after tricking Spike into sending a badly written letter to Celestia concerning her theory. . .hold on a minute. First of all, the poorly written letter. Apparently you're trying so hard to hammer the fact that Twilight has gone crazy, but don't you think this is a little cliche? Also, the brief scene we have with Celestia and Luna feels so. . . unnecessary. It's like filler. Basically Celestia dramatically announces that she must safe Twilight, while Luna begs Celestia to be careful and is touched by her sister's bravery. Okay, first of all, why is Luna worried about her mighty, sun-raising Alicorn sister? And second, why doesn't Celestia realize that the messed up letter clearly proves that Twilight isn't in her right mind and that she is in no trouble whatsoever? Celestia is clearly convinced that Twilight is mortal peril, and that the danger in the ridiculous letter is real. Has she forgotten Lesson Zero? Why is she taking another one of Twilight's sanity slippages so seriously?!

Okay, so meanwhile, as Twilight tries to kill Pinkie Pie- WHAT THE HELL?!

I'm not exaggerating. Twilight quickly admits that she is really attempted to kill Pinkie Pie off. No remorse. Completely intent on murder. Okay, I'm calling Torph out on this one. Couldn't she have made it as simple as "Incapacitate her long enough to hand her over to Celestia"? Wouldn't this make her as bad as Pinkie Pie? But nooooo, we can't think about that, because this is Crazy Twi! And what's worse, first Pinkie goes along with being killed, and that would be okay, considering "it's Pinkie Pie" but then a few scenes later, Pinkie is then truly terrified

Okay, so after proving that Pinkie Pie is immortal, we have a battle between the Mane five and Crazy Twi. 

Okay. . .clever. . .I guess. . .

So, after they hog tie her, Twilight sees that Scootaloo is still alive, and that she was wrong about everything. And then, her friends all basically say "You're insane, let's take you to an insane asylum." Wow. . .

Also, Celestia shows up to safe the day. . . oh wait, by the time she arrives Twilight's already tied up. Now, Torph could have made a scene where Celestia attacks them to "save" Twilight, until they get a word in edge wise to explain what happened. You'd think Celestia would already know, considering, ya know, Lesson Zero!

After Celestia hears the truth, we get two little obvious lessons, which don't really have any bearing seeing how coconut headed this story was, and then we get to see Twilight in a straight jacket behind a glass wall in a hospital. Yes, we really have sunk that low. Seriously, this story basically says that if you give Twilight a murder mystery, she'll wind up in a mental hospital. And you know what? We also get Pinkie Pie announcing that she's been brain damaged, and no, not Portal 2 brain damaged, this is legitimate brain damage apparently. And wait, there's more! We also get to see an apparent return of Flutterbitch! Really? Don't you have any originality. This story was not original! It was just "Lesson Zero" rated R! We do not want to see My Little Pony episodes rated R! If you want to write grimdark fan-fiction, at least make it something original, something different, something that we have never seen in the show!

There was no reason for anything in this Fanfic! A scary book is not going to uninstall the Magic of Friendship, something Twilight has been studying for months, from her brain. It's not in Twilight's character to sink to the lows of those she's fighting against. Celestia is not stupid, blind, or over dramatic. Pinkie Pie didn't seem right. And Flutterbitch takes a lot more than the reason given to come out. For goodness sake, there was nothing keeping Fluttershy from being at the mental hospital! What, was there a "no Fluttershy" allowed sign? Man, this has too many plot holes! It was unpleasant and was just terrible! You can't just play the Crazy Twi card! Twilight went crazy in Lesson Zero because she had an actual problem, she needed a letter for Celestia. Twilight had no problem, other than being afraid of book, for goodness sake! This was not enough to make her crazy!

But, as I said, it was written well and was of good length. A length well written disaster! I give this story a C-! You could enjoy this if you enjoyed character acting ridiculously wrong and incorrect just to make the story exciting, dramatic, or darkly-comedic. But I don't see why anyone would really sacrifice their respect for the show to enjoy this Fanfic. Why don't you read a story where character act logically and act in character.

This is Matthais123 signing off!!!! 

Up in Smoke By Writer O' Fanfics

Up in Smoke By Writer O' Fanfics

I am Matthais123. Hey, do you remember the drug Public Service Announcement that had a skeleton that smoked weed? Okay, he wasn't really a skeleton, he was a guy who's skin fell off from smoking weed, and as he talks, his organs are slowly falling out of his skinless body. As the Twilight Zone symbol spins behind him, he speaks with the voice of Gollumn and tells you that you should try this drug because it made him "smart" and "healthy". Of course, the message of the PSA was "don't smoke weed", but you know what it really accomplished? It gave every kid who watched Saturday morning cartoons nightmares! Or how about the PSA with a drug dealer who transforms into snake guy right while he's talking to you! I suppose you could argue that scaring the kid with PSAs could make children afraid of doing drugs, but don't you think you're going a little too far? Is it really necessary to scare us? You know what, whoever made this PSAs should just go back to the drawing board, and read Up In Smoke by Writer O' Fanfics.

Okay, so the story is about cigarettes, but I say cigarettes are drugs too. Also, it's a Scootalove fanfic, meaning Dash is there for Scoots. But guess what! Scootaloo isn't an orphan!!!!

But her parents don't give two bits about her. . .hayseed. . .

Anyway, the story is about what happens when Scootaloo buys cigarettes from a drug dealer. Now, what the author does is just brilliant. The drug dealer. . . is a pony! Just think, there are griffons, dragons, and changelings, but who's the villain of the story? A pony! You see, dragons are clearly all jerks, especially teen age ones, Changelings look like they're on drugs, and I wouldn't put it past Gilda to do something like this (Don't get me wrong, an OC griffon could've been used too). But by making the drug dealer a pony, even if he is a stereotypical drug dealer (Spiky hair, nose ring, skulking in the shadows), he's still a pony, something Scootaloo would be familiar with. This shows that in real life, a drug dealer WILL NOT be a guy with the head of a snake! He will be a normal human being, ready to take our money and ruin our lives.

Anyway, the drug dealer tells Scoots that smoking cigarettes, even in private, will make her cooler. Wanting to be as cool as Rainbow Dash, Scoots agrees, and buys a pack of cigarettes for 20 pieces of sil- oops, I mean 5 bits.

Later, Scoots hides in some bushes and lights up one of the cigarettes. Then, the most satisfying of all scenes happens. Scootaloo coughs when she breathes in smoke. OF COURSE! How do people do it! Sometimes I just wanna walk up to a smoker and say, "How can you stand all of that smoke going down your throat and into your lungs!?" It appears that Scootaloo, shocked at the horrible experience, will quit smoking, however, she actually tries again! It turns out that the author was a former smoker, and therefore didn't even need to do the research to write a convincing story. This story can enlighten non-smokers as to why smokers are even able to do this. It appears that Scootaloo somehow "prepares" herself for the smoke and allows it to go down slowly. At this point, the nicotine and other junk in it takes hold, and starts to make her "high", at which point the smoke won't bother her anymore. The detail of this story, as well as the mind and "technique" of a smoker enlightens non-smokers as to why this habit is so easy to fall into.

And then, who shows up but Rainbow Dash, who catches Scootaloo with the pack of cigarettes. Dash is genuinely concerned for Scootaloo, and proceeds to kindly explain to Scootaloo the dangers of cigarettes. What's more, the author also gives Dash a certain, surprising backstory that I never saw coming, and in no way am I going to spoil it in this review. Please go to the story and read it yourself.

Dash also, when she finds out about how neglectful her Scoots' parent are, pretty much offers to hang out with her whenever she needs somepony. Basically she becomes an honorary big sister to Scoots, something we really need canonized in this show. Maybe not with drugs, but maybe something a little more kid friendly (Yeah, ponies going insane and snapping bears' necks are really kid friendly) Dash also recommends that Scootaloo talks to her friends, which I felt was genius, because Friendship is Magic, and friends are you best asset when fighting drug addictions. Okay, so Scootaloo was never addicted, she only smoked one, but you get the idea.

So, the story ends bright and happy, with the Cutie Mark Crusaders prancing off. Oh, and remember the 20 pieces of- augh! 5 bits? Well, let's just say, thanks to Dash, they'll be put to a much better use than that of a very famous 5 bi- errrrg. . .20 pieces of silver, as well as much less grisly. Also, the nopony hangs themselves.

I must say that this story was great. It took a very serious issue and discussed it better than any PSA. It was straight forward and interesting and offered insight into what cigarettes are and what they do. It also had some very touching a cute moments between Dash and Scoots. Especially the part where Dash says that Scootaloo is awesome, one of the highest honors a pony as awesome as Rainbow Dash can bestow. So basically, this story was pretty much flawless, and I found nothing wrong with. . .

". . . And then Pinkie Pie... heh heh, I don't even wanna think about what she smokes."

SON OF A MULE!!! You did it! You actually did! You just had to connect Pinkie. . .Pinkiness to drugs! SAME ON YOU!!
And, you know, this is a kind of weird subject that might scare some people off. Yeah, so, no fanfic is perfect. So, I give this fanfic an A.
This is Matthais123 signing off!

Discordant by ezra09

I am Matthais123. Oh boy, where do I begin. You see, this was kind of a big disappointment for me. Well, let's jump right in, I guess.

This is a "Return of Discord/ Elements of Chaos" fanfic. Basically Discord uses dreams and telepathy to create his own "Elements". Diamond Tiara is Cruelty, Queen Chrysalis is Deceit, Trixie is Power/Loneliness, Gilda is. . . oops, I forgot, um, Scootaloo is Betrayal (Yes, this fanfic resorts to the Scootaloo is evil syndrome), and Spike is Greed. . .wait. . .HUH?!?! Spike is a bad guy? SPIKE?!?!

Okay, well, he does have a good reason for it. Basically, Chrysalis transforms into Rarity, convincing Spike that Rarity doesn't love him, giving him reason to join Discord to make a new world where dragons and ponies can live together. The whole having to move away from Ponyville one day thing also convinces him. Also, Discord tricks Luna into stealing the Elements of Harmony by making her fear that Celestia will send her too the moon again. However, the one who we focus the most on is Scootaloo. AS USUAL, Scootaloo is an orphan who escaped from the orphanage and is living on the streets. The way Discord reaches out to help her, the promises he makes to her, the kindness he shows, seriously Discord does his best to make himself into a tragic hero. And you know what, he succeeds! Seriously, just look at the comments! Nearly everyone who has read this fanfic wants Discord to win! But why? I think it's because we all feel so bad for Scootaloo, and as far as we know, she'll only be able to be happy in Discord's chaotic wonderland of candy and chocolate! A world where cutie marks won't matter! I mean really, the first part of the story takes place during Hearths Warming Eve, and Scoots is miserable, cold, and lonely! Man, I still wish Discord had won! And even worse, the "good guys" act like jerks. Well, at least one of them. After Discord is freed by his elements, Rainbow Dash angrily confronts Scoots. Scootaloo talks about how she has suffered in the terrible, black orphanage, and what does Dash do? She pretty much says, "Well, I've gone through that and worse, so I don't care what you've been through! I never want to see you again traitor!" WHAT THE HECK?! Okay, that wasn't her exact words, but that's the general idea.

Well, if that wasn't bad enough, the ending is anticlimactic, and way too fast! What happens is Luna sends Chrysalis to the moon, Spike and Scootaloo have a change of heart, they get the Elements back, the Mane Six turn Discord to stone, and the Elements of Chaos are disbanded. That's it. Really? REALLY? You don't go into detail about Gilda, Trixie, or Diamond Tiara. . .at all! They're just, there. . . Okay, Gilda and Trixie do get scenes, but Trixie's is pathetic, and it turns out that Gilda had been mind controlled by Chrysalis! Tiara is barely even there. And the worst part? Scootaloo. You know what the Epilogue tittle is? "Alone Again"! So, nothing changes for Scootaloo? Of course it doesn't! Discord had to win for Scootaloo to be happy! In fact, it's kind of heartbreaking when Scootaloo sees Discord turned to stone again, and it was all her fault. I know Discord's evil, and he did turn Celestia into stone with help from his Elements of Chaos, but maybe Discord would have been a little more careful, and perhaps avoiding any painful chaos, I mean, Pinkie Pie is chaos, but she's not evil!

What I'm trying to say is that this story had everyone rooting for Scootaloo and Discord. Seriously, the best part of the whole story was when Luna sent Chrysalis to the moon, cause we all hate her. But the ending felt very sad for me. Discord should have won, and he would have won is Scootatraitor hadn't used her new Traitor Cutie Mark on Discord! The author tries to say that tomorrow will be better for Scootaloo, but I just don't see it. She has a traitor cutie mark, and she's still a lonely orphan. Hopefully there's a much needed sequel in the works.

Anyway, I give it a C+. It seems rushed, the ending was unhappy, it was anti-climatic, and characters didn't get enough back-story. However, the battle scenes were cool, it left me guessing, everyone was in character, Chrysalis was a good villain, Discord was at his best, or maybe even better, and all of the pieces of the plots really fell into place. So it was still a pretty good fanfic, despite its problems. Hopefully the author will do better in the sequel.

This is Matthais123 signing off!

Why Do They Always Make Scootaloo Evil?!?!?

Why Do They Always Make Scootaloo Evil!?!?!?

I am Matthais123 and that title is not a joke! When Scootaloo is not a poor little orphan, or an abused child, who gets adopted by Rainbow Dash by the end, she is a sick, sadist, murderous, EVIL! Seriously, it's like her fandom is divided in three parts: Scootabuse, Scootalove, and EVIL!Scootaloo. Don't believe me? Let's look at some examples:

 The End of a Nightmare. (A Grimdark Finale) by TheMareinTheMoon 

This story is basically a sequel to the infamous Cupcakes by the evil Sargent Sprinkles. In fact, it is, THE BEST CUPCAKES SEQUEL EVER!!! (That is, the best squeal that doesn't make it all a dream). The action, the emotions, the character development, the story-lines that make it so complex! Honestly, it seems everypony is evolves somehow. Celestia, Luna, Trixie, Zecora. . . And the best part, it doesn't focus on ponies being chopped up! It's an actual story, unlike Sprinkles' "SAW" ponified. So, I give this sequel an B-, cause characters are dying, and, of course, THE SCOOTALOO PROBLEM!! As you might have already guessed, Scootaloo is the apprentice of the evil Cupcake Murderess: Pinkamena Diane Pie. Meanwhile, the sweet innocent Applebloom is hiding out with Zecora where she- Wait. . .WHAT?!?! Applebloom is one of the good guys? Applebloom? What is wrong with this Author! Didn't she do any research? In the original Cupcakes, it ends with Applebloom becoming Pinkamena's apprentice, and slicing up Silver Spoon! 

So why in Equestria did you make Scootaloo the apprentice, where you could of easily had Applebloom do it, following the original script! What the hay is this? Do you just hate Scootaloo, is that it? Yeah, she has a "What Have I Done!" moment at the end, but then she just runs off and disappears, so her existence was basically pointless. And anyway, the "What Have I Done!" is pretty stupid when she's been slicing up living ponies for who knows how long, burned down Zecora's hut, killed Zecora, kidnapped Applebloom, and attacked Twilight, Applejack, and some royal guards with nightshade! THINK!!!!!!!

Inner Demons by SapphireLibra3
OH MY GOSH! This story is an A++. . .wait. . .NOOOOOOOO! Not Twilight and Trixie shipping! And Pinkie and Rainbow Dash shipping! And a sex scene! Son of a Molestia! Now I gotta give it a B-! Anyway, the story is so epic. We get some fannon history of a "Queen Midnight." An ancient prophecy. Some reincarnation stuff. A cool OC. Some fancy magic. Epic battles! Some backstory for Tartarus! A battle inside Tartarus! Seriously, this story's epic! But, we're here to talk about Scootaloo. Luckily, this one isn't so bad. It seems, in this "Twilight Turns Evil Fanfic", the Twilight that Turns Evil ages up the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and offers them more power if they join the dark-side. Applebloom refuses, but Evil!Twilight deceives Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo into joining her, and gives them their Cutie Marks as well a super powers. Like I said, this isn't that bad, because Scootaloo is clearly being brainwashed into doing this. . .

"I'm doing what needs to be done to change the world! I don't agree with everything Twilight is doing, but I do think the old rule has to go!"

"An' ya think Twilight's gonna be a good queen?" Apple Bloom asked, "Yer goin insane!"

"Twilight? Don't make me laugh!" Scootaloo said harshly, "I'm talking about myself!"

"Wh, wha?" Apple Bloom had to step back at that statement.

"First I'm going to get rid of my past! Then, I'm going to take it to Twilight!"

"Ya can't be serious! She put Princess Luna under a spell, and petrified Princess Celestia! What makes ya think ya'll even stand a chance?"

"Twilight doesn't know how powerful I am now!" Scootaloo proclaimed, "I'm the hero of the story! She's just one person I need to step over to get my goals. I'm going to defeat you, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight, then I'll change the WORLD!"

WHAT THE HAY!!!!! So now Scootaloo's the Starscream? You know what? I hated Scootaloo more than I hated Evil!Twilight in this story! I wanted Scootaloo to get killed at some point, but she doesn't, she's redeemed! NO! You can't redeem a creature like that! She's clearly not being brainwashed, and yet she tries to kill Rainbow Dash, she sets the Cutie Mark Crusader tree house on fire with Pinkie Pie inside, tries to kill Applebloom, tries to kill Trixie just for the hay of it, and than has the nerve to declare herself a hero as she tries to kill Evil!Twilight off at her weakest point! Even Evil!Twilight sees how hypocritical and insane Scootaloo is, and she even calls Scootaloo out on it! (Just to be fair, Sweetie Belle does do bad stuff, but she has never tried to kill anypony in this story. She merely hypnotizes ponies with singing magic, and in fact quickly sees how evil Scootaloo has become, and actually turns good long before Scootaloo does when Rarity saves her from getting killed. This is how a non brainwashed servant of evil should behave, unless they are an evil bastard like Scootaloo!) Even before Twilight gave her powers, she was still a jerk! She went crazy mean when she found out that Applebloom was hanging out with Silver Spoon! Oh my gosh, get a grip Scoots!

Discordant by ezra09
This is an "Elements of Discord Fanfiction." Basically, Queen Chrysalis helps Discord, while still a statue, to whispers his influence into the ears of others to convince them to join up and form the Element of Discord and free him, after which he will richly reward them with what they want the most. Sorry, but this story is boring. It seems to slow for me. I just skipped to the last four chapters. But they were written very good and it is very though provoking. It almost makes you want to see Discord and his Elements win (to hay with Chrysalis). I give it a B+. Of course, Scootaloo is one of the characters Discord influences him, and he make him the Element of Betrayal. I can understand this one. Scootaloo wants a loving family, she wants the bullying to stop, she wants her Cutie Mark. . .She see's Discord's world as a place where all of that won't matter and she can finally be happy. This is why it's actually sad when she is found alone and abandoned after Discord is set free, with only a Traitor Cutie Mark for all her effort. Poor Scoots. . .

"So what happens now?" Scootaloo asks.

"Now you'll come with me," Princess Celestia said. She smiled warmly at the scared filly. "And don't worry too much. You aren't the first pony Discord's managed to trick. Things will work out."

Scootaloo nodded and followed behind the princess, a dejected and defeated look on her face.

I told you, Discord whispered to Scootaloo, A helpless filly manipulated by the big bad Discord. They'd eat it up in a heartbeat. Scootaloo nodded silently as they made their way to the castle.

Wait. . .what?

 Scootaloo made her way down the dark street, leaving the city noise behind her. After a few moments, she realized she wasn’t entirely alone.

So, everything going smoothly?

She smiled at the familiar voice. “Yeah. I told the princess everything, though I gave her fake descriptions of the other element wielders, like you told me too.”

HOLY HORSE APPLES!!! YOU DID IT! YOU REALLY DID IT! YOU EVEN GAVE HER AN EVIL SMILE!!! This story isn't finished yet, but I can easily see what's gonna happen next, Scootaloo, being the Element of Betrayal, will become the Starscream, betray Discord, and somehow steal the other Elements powers and become ruler or something, right?!?! Well, I suppose it isn't that bad. Inner Demons and The End of a Nightmare were far worse offenders.

I also remember a fanfic where Scootaloo gets a sword to defeat Discord, fails, and winds up killing Rainbow Dash after The Elements of Harmony defeat Discord. I'm guessing it was so bad the author took it down.
Anyway, there you have it, three stories where Scootaloo is made into a villain NEEDLESSLY! Seriously, you could have easily had her be only misguided or something, and Nightmare, it Applebloom who was supposed to be the villain. Scootaloo could have been more like Sweetie Belle in Inner Demons, and Scoots could have been corrupted to grey-scale by Discord in Discordant.
But remember, these Fanfics are good, really good! I just don't know why they had to make Scootaloo such a little bastard!!
This is Matthais123 signing off!!!

My Little Angel (Bunny vs. Changeling) by Gdenofa

 My Little Angel (Bunny vs. Changeling) by Gdenofa 

Hello! I am Matthais123. I review Fan Fiction for My Little Pony- Friendship is Magic. My first review is actually one that I've done a Fan Fiction reading for on Youtube with Otiscat123. This is one of my all time favorites. Mostly because it is simple and could go in many, MANY directions. The premise is simple, a little Changeling child trades places with Angel Bunny so he can feed off of Fluttershy's love. However, Angel Bunny won't go down without of fight. . .check that. . . an epic battle. . .
But seriously, Gdenofa wrote Fluttershy and Angel in perfect character. It actually focuses more on Angel Bunny, and to tell you the truth, that's a good thing! We really need a better understanding of Angel Bunny's character with what we've seen him do in the show, "Putting Your Hoof Down" specifically. As Strebiskunk said in his review: "Okay, someone kill that ******* rabbit!" But then, we see him act like a Disney Princess' animal friend in "Hurricane Fluttershy" (and no, "Putting Your Hoof Down" is not before Twilight comes, because Fluttershy gives a Friendship Report to Celestia at the end.). Anyway, Gdenofa writes Angel Bunny's character very well. It shows that Angel can be a little jerk, and will rebel against Fluttershy in a heartbeat. If he doesn't want to do something, he ain't gonna do it unless there's something in it for him. Gdenofa also takes Angel's violent side into account with the battle, as well as his impatience and tough guy attitude. However, Gdenofa makes sure to show that Angel does have good in him. If Angel sees that somepony is unhappy, he will do his best to be comforting and to help. This is what we saw in "Hurricane Fluttershy." Fluttershy needed him, so he put his pride on the self.
I don't have much to say about Fluttershy, except that Gdenofa makes sure her kindness shines through, and teaches the old "don't judge a book by its cover lesson."
And, like I already said, there are a lot of directions you go in with what Gdenofa did. Sure, any time you have a new OC, there are a lot of possibilities, but the context of this specific character, the details, and the implications of what is being established raise a lot of questions that absolutely beg for a sequel, or at very least a bonus chapter.
There are a lot of Changeling fanfics out there, but you will find that Gdenofa completely turns the genre on its head.
 My Little Angel (Bunny vs. Changeling) by Gdenofa gets an A+. (Scale is from F- to A+)
This is Matthais123 signing off!

  

  My Dramatic Reading with Otiscat123